Citibank: unnecessarily complicating my life since 2003

It took me weeks to get my checking account open and functional back at the beginning of college. Then, their weird labeling of credit card application entries caused me tremendous confusion, and it took a couple days for me to get my credit card working. Then, things went more or less smoothly for a few years, but lately they've gone back to giving me migraines.

First, in July my credit card account "may have been" compromised and Citibank basically shut it down without warning. This was a minor inconvenience, as I was moving the following week, needed a credit card before then, and didn't want them to send it to my old address. I had to call and yell at them to get them to send me a new card the following day. And did they explain *how* my account was compromised? No, they were cooperating with an ongoing investigation and therefore couldn't provide details. This immediately makes me think my account in fact "was" compromised and that whatever happened was their own fault. Gee, thanks.

More recently, in an attempt to pay my credit card bill online, I accidentally checked the button for my Citibank checking account (which has essentially no money in it) instead of my current checking account (which is periodically replenished through direct deposit). So Citibank sent me a letter, which I got earlier this week (ten days before my credit card bill is due), saying there were insufficient funds and they were deducting $30 from my account. Fine, whatever, my screw-up.

But when I tried to correct my mistake, I checked my checking and credit card accounts, and, oddly, both showed that the bill had been paid (my checking account had the amount of the bill added to my balance and listed as credit) - so I couldn't go back and pay the damn bill from my good checking account because the balance was not listed. Today (eight days before my credit card bill is due), I got an email about how my credit card payment was returned due to insufficient funds and blah blah blah and further online transactions from the account in question would be suspended. Excellent! I can finally fix my mistake. And moreover, they're going to save me from my lack of eye-mouse coordination by making sure that I can't pay my bills from a checking account with no money. Unfortunately, when I went to pay the bill now that they acknowledge the balance I see that they have suspended *all* online transactions until I call them and yell at them. Oops, I guess they meant the credit card account then. Bastards.

Next, just for kicks, I decided to look at the current balance of my checking account... and although the credit card now lists a balance the checking account *still* lists that I have that amount in credit. Right now, I'm exhausted and am going to go to bed. But tomorrow I will have to call the bank's customer service to find out what is going on with my checking account (lest they decide to hold me accountable for the amount that the credit card did not actually deduct from the account due to insufficient funds and blah blah blah). Then I will cancel the transfer I was going to make from my savings account to cover the credit in my checking account (lest Citibank decide to hold *actual* money hostage while I yell at them). Then, I will call the credit card company and figure out how to reactivate online payments so I can pay my damn bill. I will not be surprised when this involves talking to clueless people's supervisors, faxing them paperwork, showing up in person at their billing headquarters in South Dakota with fourteen forms of current ID, waiting an entire billing cycle, or otherwise being prevented from paying my bill by it due date next week, costing me another $30, irreparably damaging my credit, and really really pissing me off (because you can tell that I'm not annoyed yet).